"The written word is unforgiving. An so it should be. Unlike the spoken, it contains no inherent inflection. It allows neither for the fragmented, nor the fracture. It allows not for broken boozy whispers. It allows for slang, but only sparingly. It allows for patois, parsimoniously...But the problems of poor grammar, of stylessness, go beyond the mere aesthetic. It is more than just about looking and sounding right. It isn't about being superior, or pretentious, or pedantic. It is about meaning. Plain and simple. For that is its primary function. To be perspicuous. To take a string of ambiguous markings and give them sense and significance."

(Umapagan Ampikaipakan, When missing 'u' is not something to LOL about)

To know and to feel flattered

Knowing something I should not is a terrible feeling. I could not deny that I was flattered. But I am guilty on both charges. For knowing and for being flattered.
It was another episode of guilty pleasure all over again. (sigh).

Plan by the Best of Planners

Presently, my life is still rotating on its axis.  Thank Allah for that.  And, although boredom has been a friend of mine for a while, unemployment is not exactly at the centre of my worries.  There are many other things fill my thoughts.  

First, there is Aisyah and her focus on education to be mended.  I am so worried of her studies I found myself planning for intensive tuition for her like an old nagging schoolteacher.  But seriously, her focus does need some mending allright.

Then, somewhere in Putrajaya, my dysfunctioning cellphone has to be replaced.  I hate it so much for shutting me from my friends, I feel like throwing it over the sea.  However, thanks a lot to Makcik Wawa, I am still connected to the world via Facebook.

Thirdly, my baju raya and kasut raya for this year are Nadia's and Mama's sponsorship.  Even though unemployment does not worry me, it does have an impact on this year's Raya celebration for me. (LOL)

Fourth, Atuk's illness is on my mind for sometime now.  For a crazy moment I imagined him as an old man with history of diabetes mellitus and hypertension presented at my clinic with pus-filled blister.  Noncompliant to his medications, this man refuse to be referred to the hospital.  If this man is my patient, I would say that it is totally his choice.  But he is my grandfather who I love dearly as nearly much as I love my parents.  It is my choice too.  And the silliest and stupidest fact is that it should be on everybody's mind because it is everybody's choice too.  Why don't they worried about his health problems as much as I do?  They love him as much as I do, don't they?

Fifth, somebody budged me on YM a few hours ago, requesting for my research paper.  I hate people who rely on others' effort so much that they keep bothering others with their insensitive requests.  I am totally OK with helping in the form of giving opinion or something like that.  But who they think they are to critique on my unemployment, copy my papers and get away with it?

Nearly every inquiry about my unemployment ended in one single fact.  I am left behind by the establishment.  My contemporaries who received scholarships from the same establishment are already working.  It is irritating.  They claimed that they are lacking of nurses.  But it looks like the establishment does not give a damn, does it?  So what if they have to import some foreign nurses who can't speak our mothertongue?  The other establishment who claimed to ensure nurses' welfare probably are cheering to know that their degree nurses are unemployed and embracing the presence of these foreign nurses.

Come to think of it, unemployment does affect me.  If I have a job right now, I would not be thinking about my sister's Mathematic lessons, my broken cellphone, Hari Raya celebration, my grandfather's blisters, my undergraduate research paper and the establishment's ignorance.  I will have to live with these facts for sometime.  It must be another episode of my life that is planned for me by Allah, the Best of Planners.

ferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdausferdaus and counting...

Cruise to nowhere

While focusing on a very clear course in the path of choosing my future career, restlessness and ambiguity gripped on my sense of direction and time. Yet, I am determine not to lose the pride and joy of being on this voyage of life. There are 2 weeks of Ramadhan still to be treasured. Then, Syawal will bring blissful company of family and friends who are always ready to give all of their hearts out. Alhamdulillah a gazillion times indeed!

Straight Through My Heart

In the heart
Of the night
Where it's dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor

I looked down
And my shirts turning red
I’m spinning around
Felt her lips on my neck
And her voice in my ear
Like I missed you
want you tonight

Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it
No I can't resist
And I can't be hit
I just can't escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

Thought I moved
More than on
Thought I could
Fool her charm
I really wanna go
But I can't leave her alone

Hear the sound
Of a love so loud
I just can’t, I just can’t
Ignore this feeling
Said she misses me
And she wants me
Wants me tonight

Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it
No I can't resist
And I can't be hit
I just can't escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

In the heart
Of the night
When it's dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor

Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it
No I can't resist
And I can't be hit
I just can't escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldïer down(my heart)

by Backstreet Boys